You're completely useless in the revolution.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
