Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
