he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
