Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
