brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
