My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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