No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
