someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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