Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
