dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
be right there i have to get my cape
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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