would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
