before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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