I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
