This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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