I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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