I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
