i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
