butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
