But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
