So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
