Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
