Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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