Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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