you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can't turn off my feet"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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