If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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