Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
