he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
