btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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