drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
