we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
