Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize