Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
