I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
