he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
