you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
