It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
