Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
