Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
