I just pynch a tree in the face
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
