my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
