I need help removing her.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
