i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
