I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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