He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
