i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
