she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
