i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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