I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
