apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
