you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You work out of a Hotel?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize