I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
