It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
