i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
