Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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