your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize