I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
