dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
