yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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