you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
