i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
