Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
