I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
